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How Not to Grow Apart
5 Practices To Help Keep You and Your Partner Close
There are lots of reasons people become unhappy in their relationship or decide to get divorced, but “growing apart” seems to be one of the saddest. Perhaps because it seems like it could have been avoided. Two people decide to get into a relationship together, why can’t they stay that way?
It’s just not that easy.
None of us are immune to the possibility, but there are a few practices that can help prevent couples from growing apart.
Don’t Be Afraid of Change, Expect It
When my husband and I got married in 2003, in addition to the traditional vows, we wrote some of our own. If he ever gets around to editing the video and I watch it, I am certain I will cringe. That’s because I don’t think either of us had any idea what we were getting into when we got married.
For one, we didn’t realize how much we would both change.
Change can be hard. Some people hate it. But society changes, the weather changes, the menu at your favorite restaurant changes, why shouldn’t you and your spouse?
And wouldn’t it be boring if you didn’t?
Here’s what’s likely to happen in the future: your spouse may change interests, careers, hobbies, life goals, attitudes, diets, friends, you name it. Or maybe even all of those.
It can be scary to think about how you’ll manage such changes, especially if there are lots of them, but the first step is to realize that changing is normal and completely expected.
It doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong and it doesn’t mean that you will automatically grow apart.
Not all changes are necessarily good, but saying “You’ve changed.” can be a compliment.
When you both know it will happen though, it will be easier to navigate.
Daily Communication is Key
You can expect your partner to change, but how will you know about it if they…
