5 Times It’s Better Not to Share Your Thoughts With Your Partner Immediately
Even if you really, really want to
I’m not sure how it started, but my husband and I have a “no baggage” policy. Secret resentments or silent grudges are forbidden. Maybe because our relationship started long-distance, we quickly recognized that open communication was the only way we had a chance of making it.
So, for us, there’s no waiting for an annual airing of our grievances on Festivus or keeping them bottled up until we explode. We must each let one another know when we are hurt, angry, or disappointed promptly.
This tactic has served us well over the last two decades.
What I appreciate about a baggage-free relationship is that it doesn’t lead either of us to ruminate over past disputes. By not staying silent on things that really bother us, we can move past them more quickly. And then we can forget about them. There’s no need to keep score.
But I have also found there are certain situations when it’s best not to speak up right away.
While I would never suggest giving your partner the silent treatment, somewhere between speaking up immediately and keeping silent for a prolonged length of time are the situations where I have found it’s best to, at least…
